


flower language

by nazuniichans



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, M/M, and lots and lots of fluff, happy endings, with a little bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:07:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23899471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nazuniichans/pseuds/nazuniichans
Summary: hi this was a commission for my good friend chase! i got diabetes from writing this.
Relationships: Akehoshi Subaru/Shino Hajime
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	flower language

It started off with a small cough. 

“Shinonon!” 

Hajime’s head whipped around at the speed of light to watch a very familiar, orange haired boy rush to his side. He was expecting Subaru to just join him in walking, but instead, his arms found its way around Hajime’s waist and spun him around instead, laughing happily. 

“A-Akehoshi-senpai!” Hajime cried out, alarmed but also finding his own smile creeping up onto his lips, eventually making a laugh rang out. 

Subaru settled Hajime down and grinned down at the younger, placing a hand simply on his shoulder and giving him a bright smile. 

_ Oh!  _

Butterflies stirred in Hajime’s stomach. He always thought Subaru shined the brightest when he was this cheerful and that his smiles were infectious- that you couldn’t help but sport your own when he was around. The air around Hajime naturally shifted to a pleasant and light one, shyly looking up at Subaru. 

“Shinonon, I have to ask you something important!” Hajime blinked a little before nodding timidly, urging Subaru to continue. “Will you go to the gardens with me tomorrow? Spring is always a wonderful time to see the flowers bloom, and you like flowers, don't you, Shinonon? It would be perfect, just us two!  ✰”

Hajime didn’t respond initially, crimson blush fanning across his cheeks at the proposal and his violet eyes were wide with shock. Him and Subaru.. in the gardens… alone? Was this a date? 

_ No.. no.. surely Akehoshi-senpai didn’t mean it like that…! He is just being kind…! _

Hajime opened his mouth to eagerly confirm but his breath seemed to get caught in his throat. A hand raised up to cover his mouth instead, coughing into his fist and shaking a little. He couldn’t… breathe? It felt like something prickly was caught in his throat…! Ah, and at a time like this… 

Subaru eyed Hajime a bit concerned, eyes dimming and reached to lightly pat the boys back through his coughing fit, frowning. 

“Shinonon.. Are you okay?” Subaru asked lightly, his thumb rubbing circles into his skin comfortingly. Hajime ceased his coughing, nodding slowly. He found the touch warm, and did nothing to ease his nerves. There was a small bit of guilt from making the other worry about him but Hajime was quick to shrug it off, instead giving the ginger a sheepish smile. 

“Ah… s-sorry Akehoshi-senpai… I don’t know what came over me…!” He ushered out an apology, returning to his normal posture. “I would love to go to the gardens with you… that sounds very relaxing, ehe… ♪”

Subaru’s once concerned expression brightened at the acceptance from Hajime, hands reaching to grab those soft, smaller ones and giving them a squeeze.

“You will?! Ahhh, great, great! Make sure you dress real cute, Shinonon! It’ll be fun, you see!” Subaru was almost aggressively shaking Hajime’s hands now. “It’ll be the best day ever! I promise!” 

Hajime giggled at the reaction- Subaru being cheerful and energetic as always.It made him feel special that he was so excited for such a mundane sort of thing, but Hajime certainly was too. When he got home, he would surely bury his face into the pillows and allow himself to inwardly scream over the fact that him and Subaru would be spending time together. It was even harder to ignore his feelings like this. As much as those feelings brought him joy and made Hajime giddy, he was, of course, with holding them as much as he could. Hajime was just his lower classman- he was sure there were others like Sakasaki-senpai who would be a far more suitable partner than himself..! 

But Hajime would greedily take any time he could get with Subaru and admire him from a distance. That is what made him happy. 

So when tomorrow came, Hajime did exactly as he was asked. He put on the cutest clothes he could find (maybe Niichan helped just a little…!) and set off towards the gardens where he would meet Subaru at. It wasn’t too far away from Yumenosaki and luckily, Hajime was used to walking everywhere, so it was no problem finding them.

Hajime stood near the gates of the garden for a few minutes, anxiously switching his position from foot to foot. He had checked his watch several times to make sure he was on time and he certainly was, but Subaru was nowhere to be found. In the back of his mind, Hajime wondered if perhaps Subaru simply forgot about it or maybe was running late. 

That dreadful pit in his stomach clung to him the whole time Hajime patiently waited, heart sinking with every passing minute. He didn't want to doubt Subaru… he really didn’t…! The amount of time he spent last night imagining how this day was the only thing Hajime could bear to think about for the past twenty four hours and now those thoughts were easily being crushed. It only made it all the more evident to him of how much he wanted to see Subaru, to be with him, to--

“-Shinoooononnnnn!” 

Hajime jumped; he probably would never get used to that lovely voice calling out to him like that.

“Shinonon, I-” Subaru was panting as he jogged up to the blue haired boy, hands on his knees and notably sweating. 

“A-Akehoshi-senpai…! Did you run here…?” 

Subaru was now bowing his head and slapping his hands together in an act of seeking forgiveness, chest heaving. 

“Forgive me, Shinonon! The bus was late, so I just ran here as fast as I could!”

Hajime let out a sigh of relief at that; all of the bad thoughts and energy he had felt before suddenly rushing out and easily replacing it with a rush of serotonin and glee. 

“Ah, you are so silly…” Hajime giggled softly, tilting over to the side to get a better look at Subaru. Blue eyes shined over at him with a hint of playfulness, suddenly jolting upright. 

“Alright! Now that I’m here..! ✰” Subaru grasped Hajime’s hand tightly and pulled the other through the entranceway, that same handsome smile adorning his features. “Let us have fun together... Shinonon!”

Hajime’s smile never left his face the further he followed Subaru into the garden, humming content with the soft breeze of fresh scents from the flowers hitting him. His hand held Subaru’s as the ginger led the way, pointing to the different flower beds. Hajime eagerly nodded all through it, even if he had been here dozens of times before; it was evident to him that it was something that Subaru had carefully planned out and wanted to experience with Hajime. 

“Shinonon, what’s your favorite flower?” Subaru would ask, bending down to inspect a pretty, pink lily. His violet gaze turned upwards in thought, lips turned into a thoughtful pout. His favorite flower…? 

“Ehe, well my favorite scent for sure is lavender.. But let me see… flower wise…” Hajime strided away from Subaru the first time that they had entered the garden, walking a few feet away towards a patch of orange flowers. Silently staring at them, his own hands were slowly raising to his chest, clutching onto the fabric there. Surely, there was many, many choices for Hajime to choose from. Like the Shepherd's Purse flower that so strongly reminded him of his Niichan, the poppies that reminded him of Tomoya, and the petunias that reminded him of Mitsuru.

Although common, tulips was the one thing that stuck out to Hajime then.  _ True love  _ they were said to represent. There were a plentiful amount of orange ones in the field in front of him, carefully arranged. Tulips reminded Hajime of simplicity- not too flashy like roses, not too little like baby breaths.. They were a warm balance of the two. A genuine coziness and comfort in all the right ways. Yet; the orange ones stood out so  _ bright  _ and proudly. As if they were in a category of its own. 

Just like Subaru.

That same burning feeling from before returned to his cheeks, smiling brightly as he finalized his choice in his head. That warm feeling spread through his body and down to his toes. Even if Subaru never felt the same way, Hajime was content with his answer. 

Orange tulips. Most definitely.

“Tu-” Hajime tried, but instead a thick, gross feeling was in the back of his throat instead. A hand flew to his mouth, eyes confused as that suffocating feeling only welled up even more. He couldn’t breathe. He had to throw up. The trembling boy hunched over a little as a gag left him, but what was coughed up in his hand wasn’t bile or spit. 

A handful of tulip petals were instead there. Almost mockingly. 

Hajime wasn’t sure what to make of the realization that what he had just experienced was not normal, and that more petals were wanting to be coughed up the more he stood there dumbfounded over it. The orange petals scattered to the ground as both of his hands went over his mouth, feeling sick. Subaru’s head turned in attention at the lack of an answer, confused. 

“Shinonon..?” 

Hajime, without another word, suddenly rushed past Subaru towards the entrance to the garden. 

“I-I’m sorry, Akehoshi-senpai..! I need to go..!” He managed to shout, a trail of a few petals in his wake. 

“Shinonon! Wait!” Subaru attempted to scurry after him, expression screwed up with worry. By the time he reached the entranceway and his eyes scanned the area, Hajime was nowhere in sight. His gaze fell with a sigh, lips puckered up. 

_ Ah, was that..? _

Subaru bent down to pick up the orange petal laying on the ground, turning it over. 

“...Shinonon…”

…

Hajime felt  _ guilty.  _ Guilty for leaving Subaru there confused. Guilty for how his feelings had managed to become so suffocating he contracted a  _ disease- _ one that would kill him if he didn’t do something about it. There were options, of course. Surgery. A surgery that would get rid of all of his feelings for Subaru if he had chosen to do it. 

...It was something Hajime didn’t want.

To lose all of his feelings for Subaru meant getting rid of all of the tender and kind words of encouragement he had said to him when Ra*bits first began to take footing as their own unit. To lose all of his feelings for Subaru meant losing all of the warm moments they had shared together. To lose all of his feelings for Subaru meant losing such a profound and important person in his life and how much he impacted Hajime as a person. Hajime wouldn't be Hajime if it wasn’t for Subaru. 

And most importantly, to lose all of his feelings for Subaru meant… being so uncertain of what the future held for them. Would they eventually be seperated due to fate being so cruel and putting Hajime in this position to begin with?

Hajime didn’t want to know. 

So he avoided him. 

He tried to be around him at first, he really did. 

“Shinonon! Are you feeling okay?” Subaru asked the first time they had seen each other after their failed meeting in the garden. Hajime nervously fumbled with his fingers and backed a little away. Subaru’s normal smile fell immediately.

“I-I’m fine, Akehoshi-senpai. Thank you for asking. I.. I can’t stick around though.” Hajime bowed his head in apology and ducked away. He already had felt his butterflies kicking up, which usually was followed with coughing up those petals.. He couldn’t tell Subaru. He couldn’t let him worry. Even if it killed him. 

Subaru parted his lips to say something, to stop him, but he tried to think positively! That Hajime still just wasn’t feeling well!

“Okay, Shinonon! Don’t forget to give everyone that sparkling smile of yours!” He waved, but slowly ceased to a stop with a worrying gaze. Hajime never ran away from him like that..

…

“Shinonon!” 

Subaru appeared out of nowhere, hands slapping down on the desk in the middle of the library. A chorus of “shh”s was heard from other students accompanying with some glares. Subaru pouted at them while Hajime shifted uncomfortably in his chair. 

“Hey, Shinonon. I was thinking, can you answer a few questions for me? It’s for a project I have for class about idol stuff, so I would like your opinion! Since you started out with a new unit and all~”

Hajime swallowed a bit, eyes looking anywhere but Subaru. 

“Ok, ok. First question. How did your first performance go as a unit and how did you feel? Well, of course I also know the answer to that- Shinonon was shining so brightly and..!-”

“Akehoshi-senpai, I-I really have to study. Maybe some other time.. Okay?” Hajime offered instead, head still down. 

Subaru tried not to show his disappointment and instead nodded, flopping down in the seat across from him. That was ok! He could just sit and admire Hajime. No talking needed. Subaru started rummaging around to take out his own books to study with before Hajime was raising his eyes up with a frown. It made him happy that Subaru wanted to be around him… but...

“Ah.. perhaps being alone would be better..? I often do better if I am by myself, you see..~”

Concern flashed over the ginger’s face at the comment. Hajime told him once that studying in groups was easiest for him. It was a plain lie. 

He kept smiling, however.

“Mm, right. Well, Shinonon, do your best! I believe in you!” Subaru announced, packing up his things and standing up. Hajime hated how he almost felt relieved yet conflictingly so grieving… yearning for Subaru to stay. That sickening feeling of being unable to breathe started again and soon his throat was filled with orange petals, pooling up. He had to hold it in. 

A hand was placed on Hajime’s shoulder before he left, though.

“I miss you, you know.. Shinonon.”

“...” 

Hajime couldn’t help the tears that spilled over once it was clear Subaru was gone. The flowers that had been safely tucked away inside of his mouth were coughed up onto the desk with a half-sob. It hurt. It hurt so bad.

...

“Hey, Shinonon! Look! I got something for you!” Subaru called out one day in the hallway, joining Hajime’s side on his way to class. 

The blue haired boy’s eyes went wide at the package in the other’s hand. Ah… how could he respectfully deny a gift? Not that he didn’t want it, of course- Hajime was extremely flattered! But if he opened it and got to see it… He wasn’t sure what sort of reaction he would have. He was already feeling those swirling emotions in the pit of his stomach and that feeling of his throat becoming blocked off had already started to arise and all he’s done so far was meet Subaru’s eyes. 

“Would another time be okay, Akehoshi-senpai? I really do need to get to class..” 

It was another excuse. He didn’t blame Hajime for it, of course. He knew what was wrong. He knew what it was. He was far from stupid. And he didn’t want Hajime to hide it from him anymore, especially when it was clear he didn’t believe Subaru could ever return those feelings.

Without another word, he was grabbing Hajime by the arm as gently as he could while pulling him into an abandoned classroom. Hajime didn’t put up much of a fight besides small cries of “Akehoshi-senpai..! Akehoshi-senpai!” 

Subaru flicked on the light and promptly shoved the box in Hajime’s hands, gaze steady.

“Please.. Shinonon. Just open it.”

Hajime swallowed a bit, trying to hold back the pressure in his throat. Just a minute. Opening the present wouldn’t hurt. Though he was supposed to be hasty, Hajime carefully unwrapped the dainty bow and popped open the lid of the box. 

Inside, was an orange tulip, carefully preserved with a tiny string around the stem. It must have been freshly picked. 

“...Shinonon.” Subaru took a few steps forward and guided his hands underneath the box Hajime had been holding, expression serious and timid. 

“Tulips was your answer, wasn’t it?” Subaru started, thumbs carefully caressing the soft skin of Hajime’s hands. “I saw your smile while you were looking at them, that one day in the garden… and though Shinonon smiles for a lot of things, I knew it was different then…!” Subaru had said with a smile, though it dropped into a frown. 

“But then you ran away so suddenly, and I never got to tell you the things I had wanted to tell you… what I had originally brought you there for. I thought maybe I messed up and freaked you out, that my intentions were clear and I ran you off. But… Shinonon, you aren’t that cruel of a person.” 

Subaru sighed softly and then reached to lift Hajime’s chin up from staring at the package.  _ Ah, his eyes were watering… _

“Shinon-...no, Hajime. Tulips represent love, don’t they? It’s funny because… I think it fits you perfectly… you’re so bright and lovely. And well..” When did Subaru ever feel this nervous before? “I love you.”

Hajime bursted out into tears.

It was such a relief and his chest felt so heavy yet light at the same time. The box was gripped tightly in his hand and he clumsily threw himself at Subaru, arms tight around his neck. 

“A-A-Akehoshi-senpai…!” 

Subaru happily embraced him, face tucking into the crook of Hajime’s neck and inhaling that soft, sweet scent of his. 

“I love you…! I love you so much..! Akehoshi-senpai..!” Hajime managed through tears. Happiness. He surely felt happiness. And instead of flowers being caged up inside of him, he felt like they were instead all around him, making the atmosphere light and cheerful. 

Subaru and Hajime stood there for a long moment, tucked up in each other's embrace and calming down from the high of finally getting much more than feelings off their chest. Feeling free, relieved. 

  
  



End file.
